The Beginnning
by Alex's-best
Summary: after Liz is healed by Max. what would have happened if she would have listened to Max and stayed away. ? what if they both realized it was too dangerous for them to be together and ended up as friends?
1. Chapter 1

"_Thank you for giving me one more reason to envy Max Evans." Michael looked me in the eyes as he said it and I could see—I could see in his eyes how true that was._

_I didn't know what to say because with that one sentence with that one look, I could see and feel how Michael felt._

"_And you might want to get better window locks …for when your criminals happen to be human."_

_And he was gone and I stayed in my place, still too shocked to move. Finally I walk off and I think about how very different Michael and Max are. How very lucky Max and Isabel were and I imagine how hard Michael's life has been._

_As I walk to the UFO Center, I can't help but think about how true Michael's words felt. It would seem like Max has gotten the better end of the stick. He had loving parents, a sister to share everything with, and someone who looked at him with hero worship. I blushed. I would do anything in my power to keep Max—all three of them safe. Michael didn't seem to have anyone._

_And held my tears as I decided I had to be nicer to both Isabel and Michael. True they were a little more standoffish and they had voted for Max to protect their secret…but if the tables were turned would I have agreed with Max or with Michael and Isabel. I knew their secret. I had to make them all see I could be trusted._

_When I found Max I told him I'd gotten my journal back from a good friend but I still had to make him understand why I wrote what I wrote._

"_No...I know you think that I was foolish, you know, to write about that day and you and everything. What I wrote in my journal, it didn't really have anything to do with science. Um...that day that you saved me, I felt something that I just had to put into words...so years from now, if anyone ever...if anyone ever touches me the way that you did, I'll know what it's supposed to feel like."_

I thought our friendship would grow from there but Max only insisted day after day that we couldn't be close…not like I wanted. And as time passed, I put a lot of thought into my feelings for him.

Was I awed and felt love for him as some kind of hero worship because he had saved me. Or had he opened my eyes when he showed me how he saw me. I felt a connection to him because of what we shared.

Isabel and I had been paired up for some history project at school. I was scared about how that would go but it actually turned out to be a good thing for the whole group. Maria and Michael still couldn't stand each other. Alex new the truth after a couple of weeks and was surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Kyle and Max still wanted to kill each other, although Max only forced himself to feel that way to piss Kyle off. Max and I had fallen into a routine that was more of a friendship than anything else.

After running off to Marathon, Texas and having special agents show up at school, I knew what Max was talking about. It wasn't safe for any of us to start any kind of relationships that were more on the romantic side.

It was easy after a couple of months to be nothing but Max's friend. Out of Maria, Alex and I, I was the one who got along with all 3 Czechoslovakians.

Max of course was the easiest to get along with. Isabel had her moods. She was open one day and reserved the next. And Michael, well he knows he can trust me but it's not easy for him. He's been protecting himself his whole life, I know he can bring his walls down but he's scared.

"Parker, get your head out of the clouds." He snaps at me and I blink to bring myself to the present.

"Sorry." I say sheepishly. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying that Max and Isabel can't meet us for lunch. They went off with their parents to—I can't remember but they won't be here."

He looks at me to see if that's going to be a problem. I simply shrug.

"Alex has band practice and Maria is sick with the flu."

We all met during lunch.

"So it's you and me?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"Looks like it." I nod.

He nods himself and pulls out his worn out copy of Ulysses as I pull out my homework. I smile. I was surprised when I learned that Michael was an active reader. I loved hanging out with him and to just sit and read. It was never uncomfortable and when we first started hanging out, we were surprised at how at ease we felt around with other while reading.

We hang out a lot…Michael and me. I think every time we do, he looks to see when I'll come to my senses and stop hanging out with him. It's going to take him a while. But I get frustrated when he thinks like that. I laugh out loud. And he looks up from his work. I look back down at my homework. He never tells me what he's thinking but somehow I can tell just by looking at him. I hope that one day very soon he can see how truly special he is.

Hank is the biggest reasons for why Michael is the way he is. I hate that man more than I hate alien hunters. I don't know how to bring him up with Michael. I've seen what he's done to Michael. He hurts him physically but the mentally is what tore him down.

"What's up Parker? You look like you're ready to cry?" He sounds concerned.

I blink real fast and fake a smile. Thankfully lying about aliens made me think faster and stay on my toes. It's easier to lie now. "I get so consumed by homework sometimes that I forget to blink. My dad needs to take me to get my vision tested. I think I might need reading glasses."

He chuckles and shakes his head.

"What's so funny?" My smile is real now. It's good to see Michael smiling.

"Just thinking how reading glasses would finish the job."

I frown not understanding. "What job?"

"You'll look like the perfect book worm—the perfect geek." He teases.

I grab a cheeto and throw it at him. "Whatever, asshole."

His jaw drops and I laugh.

"Parker did you swear? I've never heard you swear." This is rare for Michael. He never teases me like this. He must be having a good day.

"Shut it, Guerin." I warn. But we both know there's no threat in my tone.

We go back to what we were doing and when the bell rings to let us know lunch is over I can't help but think of how comfortable and relaxed I am with Michael. Today by far has been the best lunch I've had in a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm dead tired but I tell myself to keep going. Another hour to go before closing time. I blink my eyes fast because they water up. Damn I'm tired.

I look up from my order and see only a handful or people left in the dinner. Liz is bringing up another order.

"Can I get a tossed alien salad and a sea space port." She smiled and I have to admit that when she smiled like that at me I wanna grin back....but I don't.

Just then I'm finished with the grilled mooncheese sandwich and nod at her. "Order up."

She takes the order and is back in less than 1 minute.

"So what're you doing after work tomorrow Michael?"

I shake my head. "Nothing. Why do you ask?"

It scares me, the smile she's giving me. She wants something and know I'm gonna say no. Damn it to hell. Liz had done plenty for us in the short time she'd learned the secret and I didn't want to say no...but i would. I trusted her but I didn't want to get too close. Isabel and Max had to do like me. We couldn't get to close to our new friends...they were more ties to ROSWELL, which we didn't need.

"What do you want Parker?"

"Before you say no, hear me out." She gave me a weary look.

I started on her order and stayed silent letting her know that I was listening.

"Ok, so I need you to bail me out tomorrow." She wasn't looking at me so I knew this was no good.

"From what?"

This next part she rushed, "Ok, so remember that you're my last hope. Maria being the butthead, brilliant friend that she is called a radio station and entered me in a contest. Max is working and Alex is playing a small concert where the party will take place. I can't very well ask Kyle to do it because things are too good with him right now and I don't want him getting the wrong idea. So really you're the last one who can help me."

"Parker catch your breath. What do you want me to do?" I'm annoyed because she knows how to get me to do things I wouldn't normally do.

"Can you show up a little after the date starts and bail me out? The last thing I want to do right now is go out on a date with a perfect stranger." She's begging me with her eyes and makes a face that makes me want to pinch the bridge of my nose.

"What do I have to do?" I'm not gonna hide my frustration. She knows I don't want to do this.

She smiles but doesn't push it. "I just need you to show up and steer me away. I don't care what you say or how you do it."

"Why even go then?" I don't understand her thinking sometimes.

"Ugh. I promised Maria I would go. And they've already interviewed me on my perfect man." She rolls her eyes to this.

"Fine." I don't want to talk about it any more.

"Oh another thing...don't tell Maria."

"Yes, because I go out of my way to speak with her."

"She's not bad you know. You can trust her. AND she's a really great person. You just have to get to know her."

"I'm sure as her best friend you're not biased." I go back to my order.

She laughs quietly. "Thank you , Michael. I really appreciate it. I owe you one."

But she didn't know just how much we owed HER.

"Were you gonna stay after work to relax and hang out or were you going straight home after work?"

I think about the word home and how she just described it to the place where I go to sleep. Hank and that trailer are the farthest place from what I would call home. and with that, i don't care how tired i am, the last thing i want to do is go back there.

"I think I'm gonna stick around tonight." I look at her to watch for any signs that she doesn't want me around. I haven't figured out why she hangs out with me.

All I get from her is a smile. Her eyes shine and I can see she wanted me to stay and hang out. "Awesome. So what do you want to discuss tonight?"

He shrugged. "I think it's your turn."

"Yay." She'd way too excited and I shake my head at her nerdiness. "Global warming?" she suggests.

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Please. That's not even a big issue."

She snorts. "Shows how much you know. You're gonna see my side of it at the end of the night."

"That'll be the day.....everything BUT global warming. Please. That's insane. I'll never go for it."

"10 bucks says I convince you otherwise and get you to start recycling."

I laugh a little under my breath. "You're on."

I curse at myself on the way to the trailer park later that night. Damn parker. I owe her 10 bucks. AND now I'm gonna look like a totally imbecile in front of everyone when they find out that I'm going to start to reclycle.


	3. Chapter 3

*Where the heck is Michael?*

"My salmon is delicious. How's your filet?" Doug, my mistery date brings me out of my annoyance with Michael.

I paste a fake smile on my face and answer, "Oh, it's um...really tender." He's actually kinda cute and he seems nice enough. But I still don't want to be here, having a date while all of Roswell listens, is not my idea of fun.

"Would you mind passing the salt?"

"Sure." He passes it to me and everything I do is being repeated by the annoying DJ behind us. *Michael where are you?* He said he had something to do with Isabel about an hour ago. I hope he's finished.

"Thank you. Um...you know, maybe we shouldn't talk."

Doug looks at the DJ and smiles at me. He has a nice smile and I kinda feel bad that I'm going to ditch him in a few minutes. "I understand. I'm sorry. I just wanted to have a normal date."

*CRAP* "You did?"

I can hear the DJ whispering into his mike. I'm going to have Michael do something to him. I bite on my tongue and listen to Doug's response on the girls in the archeology department being too serious. And somewhere in that one sentence I let myself relax and tell him I wanted to have a normal date myself.

As I arrive to The Crashdown with Doug, curse Michael in my head again for not arriving at the restaurant. Doug wants to talk so I'll give him that. And I know now that he's a genuinely nice guy but I can't allow this date to lead to any others. My life is not easy at this point in time.

I was enjoying myself when Doug and I saw the DJ and camera crew running along the street. I didn't think I just grabbed his sleeve and ran towards the back. I knew we couldn't hide in the back so I continued running upstairs to my room. Once he was in behind me, I closed my bedroom door.

"Um, Liz." Doug dropped my hand and pointed to the opposite side of my room. I turned and was shocked to find Michael at my window.

"What the hell are you doing in my room?!" He was supposed to be getting me out of this mess.

But there was a calm that took over me when I looked into Michael's eyes. He wasn't in a good mood. He looked pissed.

"What are you?" Was all he spoke, never looking at Doug.

I was confused. This was MY room.

"Michael, where have you been?" I was angry but I didn't let it show because I new Michael could lose it and he always had a reason for showing up late. Everyone took it as he didn't care but he did.

"I told you I had something to do with Isabel. I lost track of time. Doesn't matter though. It looks like you're having fun." His eyes finally wondered to Doug.

"And how could you know?" My voice sounded a little on the defense side. "You haven't been around tonight."

He shook his head. "Doesn't mean I don't know where this is going. Made it to her room on the first night. Wow, I'm impressed. Usually little Lizzy Parker likes to act the virginal part. She's either really into you or really horny. Mad that you couldn't get in Max's pants, Liz?"

My blood boiled. How dare he talk to me like that?

Doug must have been confused with the whole situation and finally spoke. "I'm sorry....who are you?"

I felt tears of anger mixed with pain in my eyes. Michael did this on purpose to push people away, to defend himself but that was no excuse. "How dare you even insinuate that I'm a common slut. You more than anyone should know that. I don't know what has your panties in a knot but I don't appreciate you taking your anger out on me Michael.'

Micheal's eyes flickered but in a blink of an eye it was gone and I knew he wasn't going to let up. "Doug, this is my friend Michael. He tends to be an asshole when he's in a bad mood."

I stared at Michael daring him to say something else to me. When I saw him lean against my wall, I sat on the bed.

"Doug." Michael acknowledged him but he didn't hide the dislike for Doug in the way he spoke his name or looked at him.

"Um..well, Michael...Liz and I are in the middle of a date..." Doug seemed uncomfortable but didn't seem scared of Michael.

"We were hiding form all the cameras and that DJ." I threw my explanation at Michael.

"I told you, I lost track of time. I was with Izzy, we were...well it was important. I couldn't find you in the restaurant. I came here to see if you'd gotten away. I didn't expect you to walk in with a guy. You caught me off guard." This was Michael's way of apologizing.

"I don't care Michael. That was uncalled for. I can't--"

"I know, Liz." He pinched the bridge of his nose when he saw all I wanted was to hear the words. "I'm not known to say them."

I nod. "I know."

"Are you guys like dating?" Doug asked but we weren't paying attention.

"I'm waiting."

"God, you're annoying."

"I'm annoying?!" I almost laughed.

"I'm sorry. You happy?"

I smiled. I enjoyed making Michael feel uncomfortable. "Yes."

"Listen, neither of you know me but I don't enjoy watching my date flirt or whatever it is you guys are doing, with someone else." Doug was now over the situation. "You her boyfriend or something?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Michael and I turned to each other. I almost laughed at Michael's expression.

"Oh, come on honey. I know I was wrong for not calling you but going out with this guy isn't going to get me jealous." Michael turned to Doug and gave him a once over.

I bit down my laugh. *Poor Doug.* "Michael, don't be mean. Doug's been nice to me tonight." I turn to Doug. I meant what I had just said. "I'm sorry, Doug. My best friend Maria doesn't like Michael and when she found out I was angry at him she put my name in that contest."

That's when we all heard something coming from the hall and I could hear the DJ's voice.

I was flying down out the window and down the fire escape with Michael leading the way before the DJ even made it inside my room.

"You are such an ass. He really was nice to me all night."

"He looked like he wanted to get in your pants."

He watches me while I shake my head and roll my eyes at him.

"Are we going to watch Alex and Maria or are we going to stand here until you're done being angry at me?" He's handing me his helmet as he gets on his bike.

I take the helmet as I growl at him. "We'll talk about it later."

He gives me one nod and we're off.

Don't ask me how but Kyle and Max are hanging out at the concert, having a good time. Alex and Maria do great and Michael and I dance a couple of times before I force him to tell me what he and Isabel were doing before he came to find me. When he tells me, I ask him to take me to the library. At first he didn't want to take me but I convinced him otherwise.

I stood on the spot he told me he'd lit up the symbol. I looked at the symbol and translation he'd written down on paper. I know how much this meant to Michael and I could see the pain in his eyes now. The pain and fear he had that he didn't belong to anyone or any place. My heart hurt for him.

"If there's someone out there, Michael they'll come." I feared if anyone DID come. This alien Michael was searching for scared me. I felt he was a killer but if Michael had to meet him then it'd be something I'd have to face with him.

"He won't come. Nobody ever comes for me."

"Shut up, Michael. I'll come. I'll be here." I took his hand in mine. I had to make him see that I wasn't lying.

He hid his emotions well. "Yea? Well that makes two of you. Isabel said the same thing to me."

I give him a small smile. "So, you see, someone would come. We love you Michael."

He looked down at me and after some time, he decided to let it go.

As we left, I could feel someone watching us. I scanned the grounds and could see no one. I walked faster to Michael's bike and put the thought of someone watching in the back of my mind. 


	4. Chapter 4

GREAT! FUCK.

I slam the door behind me. All I want to do is get the hell out of the trailer. I can hear Hank yelling at me from inside and I pay no attention. He's pissed because his state check for me hasn't come in. He wants money to get wasted.

I take out the prepaid cell Maxwell just gave me for emergencies and text him that I'll meet him at school.

I somewhat start jogging to make it out of the trailer park earlier. I can feel Hank's eyes on me and it makes me uneasy.

"You're a puss, Michael." I say out loud to myself.

I can fight alien hunters but I can't fight Hank. Hank had the power to destroy me if he wanted to. He's seen some pretty strange things. He hates me; I can tell by the way he looks at me. He knows I'm different and will kill me without a second thought if he thought he was in danger.

I try to think about anything but Hank until I get to school. I enter the front gates and make my way into the halls.

And as soon as I see her, I smile. "Of course."

Liz smiles but narrows her eyes. "What?"

"I'm not surprised to find you here at," I check my watch, "7:30 in the morning. Do you ever go home, Liz?"

She turns around and starts walking the opposite direction, I follow.

"I had a yearbook meeting this morning." She throws over her shoulder and I catch up and fall into step by her side.

I roll my eyes. "Sure."

"What're YOU doing here this early?" She steals a glance at me.

I shrug. "Woke up early."

We walk towards the picnic tables in the quad.

As we sit I ask, "Hey do you think I can pick up a shift after work today?"

The look she gives me tells me she can't believe the words that are coming out of my mouth. "Michael, don't you ever get sick of that place? You have more hours than me and I feel like I practically live there."

Again, I just shrug.

"I'll talk to my dad," is all that she says and as she says it, my mind travels to a few months back.

_I was walking out of town, literally. Hank had just had a fit from all the drinking and had taken his anger__,__ as usual, out on me. I had bitten down on my own anger and had willed myself to control my powers. Thank God he hadn't touched my face this time. But I'd have bruises and sore ribs for a week. Black eyes were common. Those were the ones I had trouble hiding. He'd broken my ankle and my arm at least once. I had grabbed a bag full of clothes and headed out. I was determined to get out of this hick town._

_With all my luck in the world, Liz had seen me and pulled over. "Hey, Guerin."_

_As I turned, I cussed both to myself and at her._

_"Where you headed?"_

_"Nowhere." She was so damn nosy. I kept walking._

_"Want a ride?"_

_What I wanted was for her to go to hell. But as I saw the endless desert, not one thing in view, I knew I had no choice. I turned and jumped in her car._

_She didn't ask any questions. I ended up riding around with her for the rest of the day as she ran errands for her father. By late evening, she let me know she was heading back home. We were exiting a burger joint and heading toward the car. "Where do you want me to drop you off?"_

_She was challenging me. And damn her, she knew she was going to win. I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't know how to control my powers and I had no money._

_She had read my expression and motioned me to the car._

_I got in without a word. Maybe I'd just needed time to cool off._

_"I need to find a fucking job to get out of this town!" I was talking to myself more than I was to her._

_She didn't say anything to me on the way back to Roswell. She dropped me off at the trailer park and as I was getting off, she finally spoke, "Thank you, Michael. For helping me today, I mean. She looked around. "You'll make it out of here." She looked me straight in the eye. "You have that determined look on your face. I don't want you to leave. But I want you to know that even if you don't believe in yourself, I do."_

_She had shocked the hell out of me. I barely functioned to close the passenger door and then she was off._

_I thought long and hard that night. I cursed Maxwell again. He had everything. He had Isabel, his family, a home, safety, friends, a normal life, he was confident. He had Liz._

_The next morning, I refused to be anywhere around Hank. I woke early and went to The __Crashdown__ instead._

_The Crashdown had just been opened. __Liz was cleaning the counters, her mother was filling the salt containers and napkins, and her father was starting the grill._

_"Hey, Michael." Liz greeted. "Morning."_

_Her mother, Nancy Parker, smiled at me and I awkwardly went to a booth._

_"What can we get you today, Michael?" Her mother asked._

_"Oh, nothing. Maybe a coffee, thanks."_

_Mrs. Parker smiled and nodded as she walked off._

_"Hey, Michael. Come back here for a moment, will you?"_

_Liz's father hardly ever spoke to me._

_I looked around for Liz; she ducked behind the counter and was purposely avoiding me._

_I walked uneasily to the back where Mr. Parker waited for me._

_"Yeah--Yes?" I could have manners when I tried._

_"I'm just gonna get to the point. I had a cook quit last week and I'm struggling some with the kitchen. I figured, maybe you'd like the job. You're here most of the time anyway."_

_I glanced toward the front of the cafe at Liz. She was making herself look busy but I could tell she was listening to see if I'd take the job. Damn her!_

_"Michael?" Came Mr. Parker's voice._

_"Yea, sure. I can take it. Thanks." I nodded still dazed, still staring at Liz._

_I saw the small smile appear on her face._

_"I have conditions," he kept talking._

_If I wasn't paying attention to him before I was now. What the hell? Conditions? Me? Right. I turned back to him and held his look, wanting him to go on._

_"You're grades have to stay up. Liz goes by those too. School comes first. If I find out your grades are slipping, I'll take hours away. No skipping school or you're fired." He had a tone in his voice._

_It was kinda __pissing me off, but I did need this job. I swallowed my anger. "Anything else?"_

_He gave me a look and glanced at Liz quick. "Yea, no dating the boss' daughter." He threw a rag at me and exited the kitchen._

_I turned to Liz and saw as she turned her bright, red face towards the front door._

I'd never thanked Liz, never thanked the Parker's either. The job at the Crashdown was the only thing keeping me sane and away from Hank.

Liz had also helped me set up a savings account. 90% of my paycheck went to the bank.

"Michael!" Liz poked her finger in my ribs hard.

"Damn, Parker! What the hell do you want?" I pushed her hand away.

She laughed. "You've been ignoring me. And everyone's here." She pointed towards the gates of the school.

Max and Isabel were coming into view with Alex, Maria, and Kyle at their side.

I got up. I did not want to deal with Maxwell and Isabel's questions and suspicions right now. They'd know something was up because I'd come to school early.

"Let me know what you're dad says about today." I walk off without another look to her or my other friends.

***

The day went by in a blur.

Liz and I were walking out of our last class.

"My dad said to forget it. He said you've worked enough and you should do more homework or something." Liz's look told me she agreed.

God, the Parkers were frustrating.

"Fine. But I'm still going to the Crash with you."

She nodded. "Knew you'd say that. Get in." She pushed her car keys and her car unlocked.

"Wanna hang out after your shift today?" I lean back and close my eyes.

"Sorry Mr. Clingy, but I have a study group after my shift."

"I'm not clingy."

***

Fuck. Now what?

After 4 hours at the Crashdown, I know I have nowhere else to go but home. And as I walk into the trailer park, I get a very uneasy feeling. Tonight is going to be bad. I could feel it.

And the only place I wanted to be was with Liz at the Crashdown.

As soon as I opened the door, Hank was screaming. A beer bottle broke next to my face against the wall. The glass bounced off and hit the side of my face. And in seconds, he was on me. Bat in hand, wailing on me. Bat, feet, hands, bottles. I bit down on my tongue and closed my eyes.

All I had to focus on to calm myself was the image of Liz, and nothing else.

After some time, it all went black and still only one image stayed on my mind. Liz.


	5. Chapter 5

THANK YOU TO MY BETA/SISTER adrigoddess

The uneasy feeling is getting worse. Michael was acting weird yesterday night before he left to the trailer park and now he's not in school. What the hell? I look through the halls, scanning for him. Damn my lack of height; there are too many people. I might not find him.

Maria approaches me with a smile. "Hey, Liz." She's wearing her wonder bra and every guy in the hall is staring with a little slobber coming out of the side of their mouths.

I roll my eyes. "Hi, Ria. I see it fit." I motion to the bra and then I scan the hall behind her one more time for Michael. Nothing.

Maria is giggling. "Isn't it awesome? I love this thing! I've already got 2 phone numbers and--what--what are you looking for? Are you paying attention to me?" Maria turns and tries to find what I'm searching for.

I shake my head. "Sorry. Just looking for Michael. He's was acting weird last night and he's usually here by now." I bit my lip as I continued to search.

"Don't worry about him. One, he's always acting weird. And two, he can take care of himself. Besides, him, Max, and Isabel might be up to something--" she looked around, "Czechoslovakian."

I pursed my lips. "No, that's not it. One of them would of said something. I know-- And then I saw him. He was walking fast, searching for something--someone on the other side of the small hall. "Hold on, Maria."

"I'll just see you in class." She called after me.

I nodded as I made my way towards Michael. "Michael!" I called.

He saw me and his hand went straight up to his face like people hold their head when they have a headache. He turned and walked faster into the bathroom. I stopped in my tracks. He was ignoring me.

"Hey, Liz. Have you seen Michael?" Isabel approached me. I could tell she was flustered.

I nodded, finally turning to her. "Yea."

She looked relieved. "Where? I need to talk to him."

"Did something happen? You seem on edge." I knew I was probing but I didn't care. Maybe Maria was right. Maybe this was alien related, nothing to do with me.

Isabel was losing patience with me and she wasn't hiding it. "No. I just need to find him. He's been acting weird and I want to talk to him."

"I noticed too. And you just missed him. He totally ignored me and went straight into the bathroom." I pointed toward the sign over a door that said MEN.

Isabel gave the bathroom a once over. For a minute I thought she might just go in.

Alex and Max reached us. They were laughing at something. I faked a smile, not wanting to look suspicious.

Isabel on the other hand, ignored Alex and I, as she grabbed Max and took him to the side a bit. "Michael's acting weird."

Max gave a chuckle, making the impression that Michael acting weird wasn't something new. "Ok."

"Max, I'm serious. Will you check it out? He wouldn't answer my phone call this morning and he totally ignored Liz just now."

Max looked from Isabel to me, where he saw the concern in my face.

The bell rang. The few people in the hall now made their way to class.

"Fine. Where is he?" Max asked us.

Isabel and I pointed to the bathroom.

"Go to class. I'll find out what's going on and meet you there." Max made this way into the bathroom as Alex pulled both Isabel and me to our next classroom.

"Come on. We can't be late. If I get another detention I'm killing you guys." Alex squeezed my hand. "He's fine, Liz. You know Michael. He does this it seems once a month. I swear sometimes I think he's more of a woman that you." He laughed at his own joke as we reached our classroom.

Isabel and I gave each other a worried look before we entered and sat in our seats.

The whole time spent in class i don't think either Isabel nor I paid attention to one word uttered by our teacher. We both stared at the door, willing Max to enter.

I was jumpy, waiting for Max and Michael to show up. Alex was right. Michael did act weird sometimes during the month. But it wasn't like this. I've never had this uneasy feeling. I knew something was wrong and I felt Michael might be in trouble.

Where the hell was Max?! I looked at the clock and back toward the door. OPEN!

No such luck. I waited for Max and Michael. By lunch both Isabel and I were on edge.

Nobody spoke. It was the longest lunch in my life.

As the bell rang to finally end it, so did Isabel's cell phone.

She had it up to her ear before it even stopped ringing. "Where are you? What happened?"

I leaned forward. She wasn't saying anything. She was listening now. Her face went from angry and worried to worried and frightened. "Ok. I'm on my way." She tucked her phone in her pocket and grabbed her book bag.

"Wait, Isabel." I grabbed her.

"I don't have time for this, Liz. Let go of me." Her voice was pure venom.

She wasn't going to scare me off. "Is he ok, Isabel?"

"I'll find out when I get there. Let go of me." She looked like she was trying not to kill me.

"Please, Isabel. Let me know when you find out." I pleaded.

She nodded and I let her go.

"Come on Liz." Maria who hadn't said a word to me since this morning put her hand on my back and led me away. "He's fine. If it was something bad, we'd know."

Would we? Max and Michael had been trying to keep us out of the loop lately. They said it was for our own safety but I could see it hurt them to keep us out. They wanted us to know but fought the urge to tell us anything. They feared they were getting too close to us.

Maybe this was why they were regressing. They were trying to avoid this. I was scared as hell when 5 rolled around and Michael didn't come in for this shift.

I sought my dad out and finally found him in the office. "Dad?"

"Oh, hi, Lizzie? What's going on?"

"I'm worried about Michael." I sat down, trying to come up with something to tell my dad and protect Michael's job.

"Why? It's only a stomach flu. Michael said he'd be back in a couple of days. I told him not to worry. He's probably been over worked. That boy doesn't have a chance to sleep which is why he's sick to begin with." My father stopped talking; maybe it was because he finally noticed the look on my face. "Liz, are you ok?"

"Yea. yea." I was so confused. "He called you?" When had he called?

Her father simply nodded. "Earlier. Jose's supposed to be here in 10. Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yea. Um, I just didn't know if he'd gotten the chance to call. I uh--saw him this morning at school. He left right after. He's never sick."

"He needs to take care of himself. And so do you. Rest always helps."

I nod. "Ok, well I better get back to work then."

I called and text Max constantly the next hour. I knew out of the 3, he'd be the one to give me information. The only thing I got out of him was that Michael was spending the night at his place.

I reread the message for hours. Can't talk now. Michael's spending the night with us. Talk to you tomorrow. What the hell kind of message was that?!

The hours flew by. I was upstairs getting out of the shower when my phone rang. I ran to it and was disappointed when it was Maria.

"LIZ! Ohmygod you won't believe what Alex and I just walked into! My mom and Valenti were making out. Heavy making out. Clothes are shuffled. Eeww. It was so gross. Ugh and I think they might be dating. Can you believe it?!"

I tried to face interest as long as I could. I'd worry about it later IF there was something to worry about. "That is so random. I know Valenti is creepy but at least your mom's happy right?"

I listened to Maria babble on for about 20 minutes before I told her I had to get into the shower. She promised to give me another run down tomorrow. Sometimes, I had to put an end to her talking. If it was up to her, she'd talk all day.

As I stepped out of the shower, I tried to think about Maria's problem and not Michael.

I let the towel around my head loose and my wet hair fall to my shoulders. I turned to look at the time and saw it was midnight. I was gonna kill Michael for making me worry for this long. No call? No visit? Damn him.

"Asshole." I mumbled as I turned to my window and nearly had a heart attack when I saw him just outside of it.

I ran to open it for him. It was raining outside so he was soaked.

"Michael what the hell?!" I grabbed a blanket and through it on him. He was shivering. "Michael, take off your clothes. Let me get you something."

I ran to grab some sweats and sweatshirt I'd bought for my father and gave them to Michael. I grabbed his arms and that's when I noticed he was crying.

I was terrified to see him this way. I took him in my arms and kept whispering that he was ok.

He cried for a while and I just held him. I was too scared to ask what was wrong. And I knew he needed this. I didn't know if he was skaking because he was crying or because he was cold. He was silent most of the time. One let out a soft cry once in a while. I could see the fear and the pain in his face.

I took off this button up and his pants and put the sweats on him. He didn't move much and he didn't stop me. I guess he was too cold and too tired to care.

I fell asleep after he did. It didn't feel right to let him go, so I kept holding him and finally let my own tears come.

In the morning, when I woke up he was gone. A note lay by my night stand. One simple word in what I recognized as Michael's writing. THANKS.

I quickly dressed for school and looked for him in the halls. I was scared he wouldn't show up again today.

I was able to breathe again when I saw him enter class and sit in his regular seat. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him but still, I could breathe easier.

He didn't turn to look at anyone. He focused on the teacher and I tried to do the same.

Not 20 minutes later, there was a knock on our door. The principal came in with Valenti and my heart stopped.

"Michael Guerin." The principal called and motioned with his finger to go with them.

Max and Michael shared a look before he disappeared through the door.

Michael did not come back to class.

The rest of my day was spent in dread...maybe a little worse than yesterday. What the hell was up now?

I went to the Crashdown as soon as I got out of school. Maybe my father had heard something from him.

"Don't worry, Liz. I'm sure he's still at home trying to get better. Don't worry so much."

Minutes later Isabel and Maria walked in.

"Have you seen Michael?" Isabel was frustrated as she had been yesterday.

I decided with holding information from her might work to my advantage. "Why?"

"Have you or have you not?" Isabel demanded.

Maria pulled out a chair to watch the show.

"Maybe. I want to know what's going on. I'm worried about him."

"I'm worried about him too. That's why I need to know, Liz. Have you seen him?"

"Isabel." I pressed, holding my ground and giving her a look that let know that I was being serious.

"Liz, I promised I wouldn't tell." She gave me an almost defeated look.

I said nothing, just continued looking at her.

She let out a sigh, giving up. "All right. Michael's in trouble."

Maria popped out of her chair.

I hesitated. "What...what kind of trouble?"

"It's Hank. He's, um...he's been hurting him, and Max and I are trying to help."

Maria's mouth fell. "Oh, my God, Isabel."

"Michael made us promise not to say anything."

"He was with me last night. All night." I admitted.

I ignored Maria's shocked face and then her shriek.

Isabel didn't seem surprised by this.

"He never told me what was wrong. We just slept. And in the morning...he was gone. He was in class today. Valenti came for him. I haven't seen him since."

I watched as Isabel thought about what she'd just heard before she could respond, Max walked in.

"Valenti has Michael." He announced.

Isabel nodded. "We just heard."

"Max, what happened? You disappeared after class." I searched his face for information.

"I went down to the police station. I've been trying to listen to what's going on. Apparently Hank's gone, and they think Michael had something to do with it."

I didn't wait for anything else to be said. I turned and ran into my father's office. "DAD!"

"What's wrong Liz?" My father asked.

"You have to come with me. We have to go down to the station. They arrested Michael."

"What?!" He stood fast and we left the Crashdown with everyone at our heels.

My father didn't ask me any questions until we were on our own on our way to the Roswell jail.

"Why did he get arrested?" My dad finally asked me in the car.

I chewed on my lip. "Hank is missing and they think he had something to do with it. I know he didn't do it dad. I know."

"I don't think he did either Lizzie but it he needs an alibi he won't have one. He's been sick and by himself. We'll wait to see what they tell us."

When we arrived, Valenti wanted to speak to my father alone. The rest of us, Max, Isabel, Maria and I waited in the hall as my father spoke to the Sheriff.

"He works for me Jim!" I could hear my father arguing through the door. "I'd know if he was capable of anything. I'm telling you the boy had nothing to do with Hank's disappearance."

"We need his alibi Jeff. He was the last person to see Hank and he won't tell us where he was." Sherriff Valenti argued.

I knew I'd have to tell my dad. I got up and walked to the door. "Um, dad." I knocked on Valenti's door.

Seconds later, the door was opened. I stepped in and closed it behind me.

"What is it, Liz?" My father looked frustrated because he was getting nowhere with Valenti.

"I know where Michael was last night. And I know why he didn't say so."

"Where was he, Liz?"

I flinched. "With me...in my room." I dreaded my dad's reaction just like I knew I'd deal with Max's later.

"WHAT?!"

"It's not like that. Michael came to me last night. He was soaked through. He had nowhere to stay and he was upset. He and Hank don't get along. I promise dad, nothing happened. It's not like that with me and Michael."

My dad wasn't looking at me but at the floor.

"She could just be saying that, Jeff. She's trying to cover up for her boyfriend."

"Liz wouldn't do that." My dad said matter of factly.

"Jeff--"

"If you don't believe me Sherriff, search my room. Michael's wet things are still in my bathroom. The towel and blanket he used to dry off are on the floor by my laundry basket." I interrupted him.

The Sherriff looked defeated. "What time did he get there?"

"Midnight. I had just hung up with Maria. She called me to tell me about her mother's date." A narrowed my eyes.

For just a second I thought I saw Valenti blush but it was gone as fast as it appeared.

Of course he had to let Michael out. He had no grounds to hold him and everyone knew it.

Michael sat in the passenger seat of my dad's car. I sat in the back. The situation was awkward.

"Michael?"

"Yeah?"

"Next time you need a place to stay, take the couch will you?"

"Yes Mr. Parker. I'm sorry. And thank you. To both of you."

Everyone joined us outside of the Crashdown. My dad walked in and left us all to talk.

"Michael, about Hank..." Isabel started, "well, you didn't have anything to do with it. Did you?"

"Of course not Isabel. Jeez."

It wasn't much of a talk. I know Michael wanted to talk to Isabel and Max alone. They all dispersed and agreed to meet later.

Michael stayed behind to get his things from my room.

"Sherriff Valenti said he'd find me a new home situation."

"Michael don't worry. You can crash here or at Max's."

"There's nothing for me here, Liz."

I knew what he meant. He was leaving.

"Where are you going to go?"

Michael shrugged. "Don't know."

"You have us, Michael."

"See you around, Liz." Was his only response.

"Don't leave without saying goodbye, Michael. Please."

"I don't think I'd be able to say them, to anyone..." he chuckled, "not even Maria."

I gave him a look as he continued, "We all know how much I love Maria." His sarcasm was thick and it wasn't funny at the moment. "I'm kidding. You know, she was starting to grow on me."

"Michael-" but I didn't get to finish before he was gone.

3 hours later when the phone rang, I knew it wouldn't be good news.

"Hello?"

Max's voice was full of sadness when he spoke. "He's gone, Liz. Michael left. I lost him."


	6. Chapter 6

The knot of guilt in my stomach was getting worse. The bag of things Isabel had given me before I took off, didn't help. And the guy who'd picked me up was rambling on about God knows what.

I know Isabel was mad because I'd left. She thought I was being selfish and maybe I was. I just couldn't stay with Hank any longer and I didn't want to go back to foster care. This stupid society wanted me to finish school or wanted me to turn 18 before I could get out. I couldn't afford to stick around and play by their rules.

Thank God for Liz. The job she'd gotten me and the bank account helped. Now I had money to get me where I wanted to go...wherever that may be.

Liz. That knot was getting worse.

She'd done so much for me and I'd left her too. She'd helped me of course so that I could leave when I wanted but I think she hoped I'd stick around. I have to admit that I wanted that too. Leaving had been my last resort.

The prepaid phone on my lap vibrated. I flicked it open because it was a text. The knot was now violent when I saw it was from Liz.

"Max said you had turned your phone off...I'll miss you Michael. If you need anything...I hope you find what you're looking for...I understand why you...Let me know when you're settled."

The funny thing was that I could hear and see the way she'd written it. She was stuck, tongue tied, upset. My eyes stung for some unknown reason. I read and re-read the message. I could no longer hold the tears in as I thought of her. Why? Why does she make me feel like this. I didn't want to think about it but my heart answered what my brain wouldn't. And it finally dawned on me. Liz was part of me now. They were all my family and I loved them. But Liz, well I loved her in an entirely different way. It scared the hell out of me.

I don't remember how I ended back at the Crashdown 2 hours later. I knew this would change things. Was I strong enough to deal with the consequences, good or otherwise?

A mock, light, laugh escaped my lips. I was in the backroom, glancing up the stairs that led to Liz's room. I couldn't confront Liz right now, so I took the couch. I'd deal with everything in the morning.

I woke up before anyone was up so I decided to start breakfast. Tumbling all night, I'd decided to face my future. I had to confront Hank and I was going to Mr. Evans today to try to be on my own. Isabel was right. I couldn't run forever. I had to face all my fears and I had to let myself be helped.

Minutes later, I heard a gasp. I recognized it and although I wasn't ready to look at her, I forced myself to do it anyway.

God, she was beautiful.

Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. I could see she was shocked but she was happy too. She gathered herself quickly and cleared her throat, blinking away her tears. "What are you doing?"

"Making an omelet. What does it look like?" I turn back to the eggs trying to get control over myself.

She was by my side then. She pulled my arm and I turned to her. She was letting her tears fall now. She grabbed me in a tight hug and all I could do was hug back. It took her a second but she composed herself and let me go too quickly. My throat burned. I wanted to hold her forever.

We waited for her parents and she sat with me, holding my hand as I told Mr. Parker about my relationship with Hank. He didn't say a word and let me finish. In the end he cussed Hank out, threatened to kill him and then smacked me on the back of the head for not saying anything sooner. The three of them walked me over to the Evans' and sat down with me as I repeated my story.

Max and Isabel sat in silence. Max, proud for finally talking about it. Isabel, crying to herself as I admitted the truth to her parents.

I went through the day in a blur. I couldn't believe I'd done it. I'd spoken out and I was going to face Hank.

In what seemed like no time, I was before a judge with Mr. Evans and Mr. Parker by my side. My friends waited outside. Liz waited.

"And does the minor, Michael Guerin, pledge to take charge of his life as an adult from here forward?" The Judge looked at me.

I took a deep breath. I was ready. "I do, your honor."

"And do you understand that you will be solely responsible for your financial, educational, and medical decisions as they may arise?"

I nodded. "I do, sir."

"And I might add, young man, that you are fortunate in having these folks here today" he gestured toward Mr. Evans and Mr. Parker "...who have an interest in your future...and have shown a confidence in you that is reflected in my decision. I hope you can live up to that faith."

"I'll try, your honor." I'd try my damn hardest.

"I hereby grant your petition for emancipation."

I blinked, too surprised and happy to say much after that.

I thanked the judge and shook his hand. He exited the room and my friends rushed in. I wasn't much of a hugging person but at the moment I didn't care, Hugs flew all around the room.

In the week after my emancipation, I knew I confused the hell out of Liz. I hung out with her 24/7. She helped me look for low income apartments and gather things at thrift stores. I wanted to spend that time with her, but then I remembered that we couldn't happen for so many reasons and I tried pushing her away. She was getting really tired of my mood swings.

I don't know what I was thinking when I grabbed her and kissed her. And I have no idea what the hell she was thinking when she kissed me back.

We were cleaning my new, raggedy kitchen, arguing as normal and I said something to make her snap.

"I'm sick and tired of you, Michael. I'm leaving. Call me back when you're back to normal." And I heard her say, "Ass." under her breath. She was sprinting to my door when the Devil overtook me and I grabbed her.

"wait." And I kissed her.

Her lips were soft. She didn't flinch, didn't try to pull away. Nothing. Not even in surprise. She molded her lips to mine and her hands slipped into my hair as she pulled my head closer. My arms instinctively went around her waist.

Our kiss increased in passion and it wasn't until her tongue touched mine, that I realized what we were doing. I pushed her away and stepped away form her.

"Michael." I could see that she was confused and not because I had kissed her but because I had stopped the kiss.

"I'm sorry Liz. That shouldn't have happened."

It took her a second for her to answer. "Why are you doing this to me, Michael?" She sounded exhausted.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Doing what?

"This? Doing this? Since you've been back, you've been pushing me away, you drop your defenses and just as I think it's getting back to normal, you push me away again. What the hell is going on?" Now she looked pissed.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I turned away from her then, not wanting her to look at me in the face when I lied to her. I threw myself on my couch and give her my best poker face.

"Have you ever heard the song Damn? It's sung by Leann Rimes?" She comes over to sit next to me on the couch and sits with her body turned toward me.

I ignore her.

"I'm gonna give you the damn lyrics to that song!"

I sit in silence hoping she'll just get tired of me and leave. I had to do something drastic. "Just leave Liz. I don't want to say something that will hurt you."

"I just want you to talk to me, Michael."

"About WHAT?"

"For starters, why did you kiss me and why did you pull away?"

There was no getting around her questions no matter what I did. "Liz, we can't do what we're doing."

Why couldn't she see that?

"Ugh! Why? Why do you make things so complicated?"

"It can't happen." I stood and paced not knowing what else to do or say.

"Michael, you're making me dizzy. Just explain it to me please."

"I don't belong here, Liz. We, Isabel, Max and I will probably leave someday. We can't form deep friendships or let our emotions tie us down."

"So you don't want to go out with me because sometime in the future you'll have to leave." She was on the verge on losing it.

I nodded my agreement with her comment.

"You don't even know how you got here or why you're here! Why are you so scared to belong, Michael? Why are you so scared to care?"

"It's just a possibility, Liz. And I don't want to have to choose when the time comes. I might have a family out there and I don't want to choose." Dammit I always spoke too much when it came to Liz. She wasn't supposed to hear this. "And there's always Max." I quickly changed the subject.

"What about Max?" Liz almost screamed at me, at least her mind was distracted for the moment.

"I know he loves you. And I know you feel strongly about him." This part, I ignored because the sharp pain of jealousy hurt me more than I cared to admit.

Liz let out a frustrated scream. "You have GOT to be kidding me. Max has a crush on me. A crush that has all but disappeared now that he has been hanging out with Isabel's new friend Tess. And I do feel something for Max. Gratitude. I care for Max as a friend. He saved my life. That's something I'll never be able to repay. But don't use that as an excuse, Michael. You know perfectly well it's not like that between us. It hasn't been for a long time. You push me away so you won't get hurt. Not that I would ever hurt you but you have to protect yourself. If you don't trust anyone then no one can disappoint you. I understand that and I love every bit of you. You frustrate me but I've seen who you really are and you can't push me away. I just wish you'd stop and let me in." She inhaled deeply and turned towards the door. "I'm leaving. Just think about what I've said. You know where to find me."

I stared at the closed door for a long time after she left. The words she'd spoken before she left, echoed in my head.

She'd admitted to loving me. And when it hit me, I had some trouble breathing. My heart accelerated and I had to finally sit down.

Could I let her in? What if something happened and I put her in danger? Knowing about us was enough. I won't put her in that position.

She was wrong. Well, mostly wrong. I didn't want to get hurt, that was true but I didn't want HER to get hurt. That would kill me.

FUCK! I wanted so desperately to be selfish. And if I was going to be, then I had to think things through and talk to Maxwell. 


End file.
